I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
