I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize