No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
