Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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