Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
