Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
