I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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