Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
