i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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