He kissed a someone with a penis
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
