In America we eat man semen.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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