I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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