Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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