I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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