Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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