Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
