I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
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You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
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Also, beer. Big fan.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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