I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
