chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
