She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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