I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
