jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
