Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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