In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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