See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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