Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
