You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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