He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her