SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.