She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets