he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall