One girl and one boy is just not enough.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
