the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
