Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
