Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
