just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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