Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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