You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
