Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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