he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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