His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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