You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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