Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
