Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hippo gnu deer
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
