Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
