Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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