what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
