is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
A+ Viking dick
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
