What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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