Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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