I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
