I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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