i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
