i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
