I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
