Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
