I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
