For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
