I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
