last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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