I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize